LIFE COACHING NEWSLETTER
August 2005
The Five Signature Strengths [1]
Fifth Edition
“I believe that each person possesses several signature strengths. These are strengths of character that a person self-consciously owns, celebrates, and (if he or she can arrange life successfully) exercises every day in work, love, play, and parenting.”
M. Seligman, Prof. of Psychology at the University of PA
In the July Edition of The Five Signature Strengths (Vitality, Optimism, Curiosity, Love, and Gratitude) Gratitude was explored. In this Fifth and final edition in this series, the Signature Strength of Love will be explored.
Love is classified by Peterson and Seligman as:
"Intimate Attachment [Capacity to Love and Be Loved] that occurs within a reciprocated relationship and has within it the disposition "to tend and befriend" in one-to-one relationships.
The Capacity to Love and Be Loved is an expression of the virtue of Humanity and Love.
This strength naturally includes: romantic love and friendship, love between parents and children, mentoring relationsships and the emotional bonds between teammates, coworkers, and so. ... reciprocal attachment is marked by the sharing of aid, comfort, and acceptance. Intimate attachment involves strong positive feelings, commitment, and even sacrifice. [2]
Kindness [Altruism, Generosity, Nurturance, Care, Niceness] and Hot Intelligence [Social Intelligence] are the other two strengths that are included under the classification of Humanity and Love.
Since Love is best experienced through poetry rather than prose, I give you a master poet:
Khalil Gibran on Love
Love one another, but make not a bond of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart.
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
Kahlil Gibran (from The Prophet)
Of Children
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but are not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, nor even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
I began this series because of a study that revealed that the five key strengths of Vitality, Optimism, Curiosity, Love, and Gratitude are more closely and consistently related to creating Eudaemonia, The Good Life. Best of all, these strengths are mutable and can be learned and enjoyed and bring meaning into a life.
As I've approached the closing of this newsletter, I've been trying to imagine my life without "Love" but I can't imagine such a life. Can you?
Angela Maffeo
©August 2005
The schedule for the Day of Self-Discovery Programs at Radcliffe for 2005 is:
Sunday, October 2, 2005
Sunday, November 6, 2005
Sunday, December 4, 2005
For more information, visit
www.discoveryourpsychologicaltype.org.
amaffeo@post.harvard.edu
[1] A signature strength is experienced as :
A sense of ownership and authenticity (“This is the real me”)
A feeling of excitement while displaying it, particularly at first
A rapid learning curve as the strength is first practiced
Continuous learning of new ways to enact the strength
A sense of yearning to find ways to use it
A feeling of inevitability is using the strength (“Try and stop me”)
Invigoration rather than exhaustion while using the strength
The creation and pursuit of personal projects that revolve around it
Joy, zest, enthusiasm, even ecstasy while using it
[2] See Section Introduction:
Strengths of Humanity and Love
[3] Unknown source
